i think this may just be the greatest string of tweets in the history of mankind
TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST I REMEMBER EVERYTHING BUT READING THESE TWEETS AGAIN AFTER SO MANY MONTHS IT ALMOST FEELS SURREAL LIKE “I CANT BELIEVE THIS PERSON IS ME”
When tree branches get in my way
Vine by: Logan Paul
How we manage to cram such genius in 6 seconds is beyond me. This is art.
One day we’ll hear white people make mention of “greasing their scalp.”
I’m sure of it.
Justin Timberlake is already getting hair relaxers
I’m finna block yo ass for this.
why its true…
look for yo self
Y’all ain’t shit tbh
Lmfao yall dead wrong
Lord God I did not notice
beyonces speaking voice is deep and powerful too like i feel like if she were to call me a mothafucka it would resonate down my entire ancestral line and make my first ever primitive ancestor collaspe and erase my entire family tree
We literally have an entire trilogy of movies that explain why that is a bad idea.
i wish i was friends with someone in my neighborhood so i could randomly call them up and be like ‘yo i know its 3am but do you wanna walk around aimlessly for a little while’
Do you think this is a god damn movie? My best friend lives 20 feet from me and I haven’t seen her in 3 weeks.
So I was driving behind this truck and seen this huge dog and I was like lemme take a photo of this creature, so I honked my horn a little so it would look at me and then………….
I took my kitten to the vet and all the veterinarians were all cuddling him and tickling him and going “awwwwww” and I realized that even though they see kittens every day they never get tired of it because they love them so much. And then I thought about gynecologists.
wow i really got around on the second day of school
i met her once and I’ve never smoked anything
…I don’t even drink alcohol
i’m a socially awkward virgin and i’m 99% sure that wasn’t gospel music
i don’t even have her number????????????
He’s just mad because he can’t acquire all the apple juice that I’m acquiring. (x)
That is a very powerful story. Also, that really is an incredible price on apple juice.
|Me:||*reading in bedroom*|
|Parents:||We're going out to take care of some things.|
|Parents:||And we're taking your siblings with us.|
|Parents:||So you'll be alone for a bit.|
|Parents:||Don't do anything crazy.|
|Parents:||*leave with my siblings*|
|Me:||*emerges from room*|
|Me:||*tiptoes into living room*|
|Me:||*sits on couch*|